It was 23 years ago when our daughter told us she was lesbian and then introduced her partner. It’s hard to remember back to the days when I walked around with a huge lump in my stomach. I assured her that I loved her, but secretly feared her life would never be “normal”. She gave us books to read and I learned about PFLAG. I soon attended a meeting and as I drove home, I realized the lump was gone. I met people there with positive stories, and some with sad ones, some whose parents had rejected them. There was no way we would lose our daughter. It was clear we needed to learn more. So we read, went to meetings, and grew.

Our Unitarian church believes in the worth and dignity of each human being and that everyone should have equal rights under the law. So when we needed less support, we became activists. I have testified in the Indiana Senate in opposition to a proposed (anti) marriage amendment (which failed to pass!) and before the City/County Council in favor of equal rights for jobs and housing (which did pass). We have gone to schools and conferences to spread the word that “normal” covers a wide range.

Our daughter and her partner now have three children. The kids are all musical and take lessons on a variety of instruments. They have four dogs, a turtle, a rabbit and a couple of aquariums. Where is that “normal” I worried about?

It took us a few years, until our daughter was pregnant, to come all the way out of the “parent closet”. But then the relief was huge. We could talk casually about our family and just assume everyone knew. We found our friends very accepting and over the years family has become so. I like to think we have helped broaden their horizons.

We have stayed involved in PFLAG, now because we want to help change the world. We want our lesbian daughter to have the same rights as our straight daughter. The people we have met in PFLAG are wonderful and many have become close friends. When we moved to Atlanta last spring, joining PFLAG was one of the first things we did.

At this point I would not change a thing.


Originally posted 2010-09-01 17:18:23.